I honestly do not know what to say. Seriously. This moment is absolutely thrilling, devastating, impossible to believe, too real to deny, the final leap towards normalcy, and the first step of a thousand miles. Wanting to forget but compelled to remember.
But I do know this, I really do not have to say anything because anyone reading this, everyone reading this, absolutely understands what it is I’m struggling to articulate.
So, if you will afford me a moment of self-indulgence, I am going to tell you what I am looking forward to instead. Curtain speeches, handshakes, “hello’s”, rehearsals, blackouts, scowling at the M&M dropper and laughing about the M&M dropper later. Waves of laughter, unsuccessfully stifled sobs, collective gasps, and hushes falling over audiences. Bulbs burning out and microphone feedback, props not functioning, and lines being dropped and the moments of sheer brilliance that follow those mishaps. Seeing smiles! Overly long curtain calls and everyone who says “Whattheysay?” Late actors, late patrons, late entrances, and late nights. Passionate discussion over artistic merit and passionate fights over absolutely nothing. HUGS! Oh, how could I miss hugs?! Oh, how I miss hugs.
And you. Looking in each other’s eyes and simply understanding. A slight smile, a nearly imperceptible nod. You get it. I get it. Yeah, I’m looking forward to you.